Thoughts

Thoughts by Jennie Palmer

I thought about you today.  Nothing unusual or intimate. Just a whisper of a thought.  Not anything uncommon or unordinary.  I really cannot remember what the thought was.  I just remember your name floating ever so suddenly in my mind but keeping me interested in you.  How have you been, what are you doing, do you have thoughts of me swirling to and fro gently in your mind at times?  I am hoping you do.  Not anything unusual or intimate, but, I would like to know.  I will never know.  You will never know.  We will never share our thoughts, or will we?  

I heard that song today.  You know the one...I cannot think of the name of it now.  Its one of those that  forms little crystal drops in the corners of our eyes, not knowing why, until that thought appears out of nowhere....

I thought I saw you today.  It was not you of course, but, my heart pounded ever so heavy as I rushed out to get close enough.  My heart sunk.  It was awakened so quickly, it took me a while to calm it back down.  Things like this, as small as it seems, happens to me all the time. Even though you have not been away that long.  Should I be so aroused by such sightings?  I sometimes wonder if you ever think you see me too.  Wandering hopelessly down the middle of a street.  I do that a lot.  You know the wandering paths I always took?  They are the same.

What paths are you now treading?

I thought I heard your voice today.  I was just  standing in a very long line to return the sweater I had bought for you and you never liked it.  You were so nice to say  that it did not fit and not to bother replacing it.  I now wonder, if you knew something then. You know, like you were going away. I turned ever so slightly around and scanned the faces around me.  Of course it was not you.  I wonder if you ever do that same thing.. You know, thinking you hear me call your name.  I do that you know.  When I am alone and I think I feel your spirit around me...I call out to you.  Do you ever call out to me?

I thought I captured a whiff of your cologne today.  The one you would always wear just for me. Do you know I still wear your favorite perfume.  I only wear it when I am sitting in the dark on the bed. I swear I can sometimes I can sense you standing  behind me and the breath of you smelling my neck. Do you ever do that?

I thought I felt you hold my hand today.  As I was weeping and shivering in that lonely room, I could have sworn you touched me, ever so slight.  I could feel you softly twirl my ring around and graze my arm.  Do you ever think about that.  About touching me?

You told me you would never leave me.

You told me you would always take care of me, and that you would always love me.

Don't you remember?  Did you really think it would be so easy to just go away like you did, without? kissing me goodbye?  Why?  Why did you do this?

Did you just kiss me on the cheek?